Wednesday, February 9, 2011


So, after lamenting that I had one stupid review left to write, I go to post this on my web site and find out that I reviewed it already, months ago. Niiiice. Well, here's another review of Salt, no point in deleting this (Ironically, my grade didn't change, months later)

SALT (2010)

Director: Phillip Noyce
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber

After being accused by a defector of being a Russian spy, CIA agent Evelyn Salt (Jolie) goes on the run, followed closely by her boss, Ted Winter (Schreiber).

I wish I could add more to that summary, but I really can't. Salt is that shallow and dim of a film. Director Phillip Noyce has pretty much earned his bread and butter from mainstream action flicks like Clear and Present Danger and Patriot Games, and Salt certainly is a mainstream action flick, but it is also ridiculously bad. The plot didn't make sense, the acting was terrible and the film was just generally a hot mess.

I don't understand Angelina Jolie. I think she has some acting chops, and she can practically carry a film with sex appeal alone, but she keeps making mediocre (and bad) films in between some halfway decent ones and I can't figure out why. I'm also becoming profoundly disillusioned with Liev Schreiber, who has been my "intellectual" crush for years since his days as an independent film guy. I'll grant him the desire for exposure (and money) with a movie like Wolverine, but there's no excuse for Salt. I couldn't even sit back and take in the eye candy, I was so embarrassed for him.

When one walks into an action film or a "popcorn flick", expectations have to be low otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a disappointment and you have no one to blame but yourself. When my friend I walked into Salt, we were expecting nothing but a fun action film that would probably be bad, but hey, he could ogle Angelina and I could drool over Liev. What we got was a terrible film that somehow fell below our already nonexistent standards, and the best thing I can say about it is that it had us hysterically laughing during several parts of the movie. Unfortunately, I don't think Noyce was looking for that reaction at any time during the film because Salt, even above all of its faults, commits a most egregious sin in film making: it's a dumb action film that takes itself too seriously. And as a result, it is an epic fail.

1 1/2 out of 5 stars (with an extra 1/2 for making us laugh so hard)

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