The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The good is that I had a great couple of days off. Chris and I went up north to Turtle Lake Wednesday through Saturday, getting back Saturday late afternoon. It's amazing how far away one can feel when you just head five hours in one direction, but it was enough to feel like we actually went somewhere. We spent some time at the casino there; I won a bunch of money and then lost some of it, but had a fun time doing it, which was all that mattered to me. Chris takes a much more scientific approach to it, calculating what his winning percentage was, etc. while playing a quarter at a time on the video poker machine, but as long as he had a good time doing it, that's all that matters.

The other "good" is that I can look forward to several days off for the Passover holiday at the end of March/beginning of April. If I take two additional days off in between the days the office is closed, I will have something like nine days off in a row. That could be super cool. I haven't decided if I want to do that or not; I think it's going to be a matter of what happens before those days and how much I have planned for myself so that I'm not just "wasting" days off. (If there is such a thing)

The bad is that I came back to work today with just a shit-ton of work to do. There are some positions at my employer where if you're gone, life goes on without you, to paraphrase the great Louis Prima, but unfortunately mine isn't one of them. Just because I wasn't there wasn't going to make articles become written, proofing to be done and everything else to be addressed. If it was just the articles and proofing, life would be great because I actually enjoy that aspect of my job. It's everything else that is wearing me down, the tasks I can't seem to shake no matter how much my position changes. That's what's going to bring me down the rest of the week, because I found it really important to work on the proofing first, and unfortunately, that's pretty much all that got done today. Tomorrow is going to be the official "crap work day" where everything is just completely task-oriented. The rest of the week isn't looking much easier, unfortunately, because even if I do pull myself out of this deep ditch of work, I still have the articles to write, and I've really been trying to get them right somewhat off the bat; not to mention I think I have a couple of interesting subjects for once. Then Thursday night is a late showing of Lady From Shanghai which is another of those private screenings my parents host at the theater. Considering it starts about a half hour before I normally go to bed, this is going to be a challenge.

Which brings me to the ugly. Despite my recent time off, I feel like I have zero time or motivation to explore any of my extracurricular interests. Honestly, they're not that much - movies, reading, culinary stuff, writing - but I'm either busy, not motivated to do it, or, like tonite, just plain too tired. I have a stack of Martin Scorsese films to watch and review for my Great Directors project next to the nice big plasma tv we have, yet I spent the first two hours at home sacked out in my chair falling asleep while watching reruns of "Bones" on TNT with Matisse equally sacked out on my feet. Maybe the change in the weather will help, or maybe I need to just kick myself in the ass to accomplish some of these things, because, let's face it, my interests aren't exactly strenuous. But let me tell you, I am even delighted that my leftovers from the other night are stretching out because I didn't have to cook dinner tonight and I still have enough for dinner tomorrow night.

I think I just need to feel a sense of accomplishment. I had a little of that on Sunday when my OCD kicked in in the middle of watching something on TV and I suddenly had to get up and organize the magazines that I had accumulated over the past several months (not an easy task based on the number of subscriptions I have) in order to catalogue the recipes in the myriad culinary ones I have, and separate out the actual "reading" magazines like The Atlantic that I've fallen behind on. After I organized all of those things I then went around organizing a couple of other things that had been bothering me, then went back to my TV show like nothing had happened. But, I felt accomplishment. I need that again, even if it's just completing a project I start or reading a book I've been meaning to read. (As I look at the "short list" pile sitting next to me that I've siphoned out as must-reads)

Anyway, I'm done whining. I just need to hunker down, stay active, and remember that my hobbies are actually enjoyable and things that I want to participate in.

I think fate is telling me to go to bed because "Be Italian" from Nine has now played twice since I sat down at my laptop, despite the fact that I have 425 songs on this play list and while I like that song I don't need to hear it AGAIN.