Friday, September 30, 2011

2011 Milwaukee Film Festival - Day 6

Thursday, September 29 - Day Six

Another day of the film festival, another day driving to the theater in a freakin' torrential rain storm.  What the hell?  Anyone who knows me well knows that I love gloomy weather - insert obvious Shirley Manson lyric here - but can someone give a blind sistah a break while she's driving?  Sheesh.

So I walked into the first screening of the day and one of the volunteers goes, "Oh, another member of the press!" (which still makes me go all twitter-pated inside because I'm a huge nerd) so I thought "Uh-oh, is this going to be another packed screening I'm walking into like, 10 minutes before showtime like a complete ass?"  I get inside and, including me, there were four bodies in the theater, five if you include the plush Badtz Maru key chain I had in my right hand.  Yikes.  Not a bad press ratio I guess. 

About 10 more people have walked in but sheesh, I guess there isn't a large contingent of people who get excited over a documentary deconstructing the demise of a housing project in St. Louis.  But aha, my salvation has arrived!  An insane guy just walked into the theater with his wife and yelled, "Is anyone here from St. Louis?!" with the same tone as someone would say, "The owner of a blue Pontiac Vibe, you left your lights on!"  Of course, no one answered him, because if you were from St. Louis, why would you speak up?  Instead everyone just stared at him (except me because I was grinning from ear to ear and scribbling madly) so he says, "Well, we're from St. Louis and this film takes place in St. Louis."  Nice, guy.  Of course, he and his wife sat right behind me in the seats behind that divider bar. 

I guess this woman volunteered she lived there at one time because now he's talking her ear off about all things St. Lous.  It's been three minutes, and he started talking about his wedding, then some Vatican II priest and now he's talking about civil rights in St. Louis.  Oh wait, he's moved on to journalism.  What a spaz.  I love when stuff like this happens because weirdos make my day.  And my favorite part of the conversation?  Right as the movie was starting, she asked when he moved to Milwaukee from St. Louis and he's like, "Oh, 1969."  I didn't have to look at her to see that she had a "Well WTF?!" look on her face.  LOL

Oh, and what's a day at the festival without the theater manager showing the audience how to tear a ballot.  It's been at least 14-15 times that I've sat through this, and, like the sponsor trailer, was ok the first one or two times but ugh.  And yes, I know that most people don't see more than a couple of films so they don't get to experience it SO...MANY..TIMES. 

Just sayin'.


Well, the weirdo and his wife ended up being a problem.  They were talking during a lot of the film, and it was stupid shit.  Like, when someone being interviewed said something that wasn't, say, in Klingon, he would say to his wife, "She's wise."  God, I can't stand people like that.  Anyway, they apparently brought their own snacks and were loudly rustling around in their plastic bags and crunching on their Doritos for a really long time.  How do I know they were Doritos?  Because while they were talking I would get exposed to toxic Eau de Nacho Cheese Doritos breath.  After several pointed looks at them, which involved turning around and seeing what only this woman's gynecologist should be seeing, (okay, I didn't see any naughty bits, but seriously, I would turn around and these two huge legs were up on the bar and the woman looked like she was ready for crowning) I meant to say, "Could you maybe be a little quieter with your bag?"  That's what I meant to say.  What I actually said was, "Are you almost done?!"  Hahaha woops.  No reaction, by the way.  And it didn't work.  Leave it to me to have the two most annoying people in this hemisphere sit behind me in a theater that seats 250 but was jam-packed with 15. 

I really need to lighten up about the manager's ballot speech.  She walks in and I can feel my chest tighten slightly.  And I still have to hear it at least a dozen times.  Hopefully she has a day off coming up?  I'm sure she's a really nice person and all, it's not personal.  Kind of.

I'm excited to see this film - Vincent Wants to Sea.  I've heard really good things about it and there's a pretty good-sized crowd here.  Even the crappy seats in front of me halfway filled. 

Oh good, the lady in the wheelchair sitting behind me is somehow kicking the back of my chair.  I don't even know what to say about that.

LMAO at the guy who yelled "Bring it up!" in time with the guy in the sponsor trailer.  And why was I the only one who laughed at it?


I'm waiting to see Wish Me Away, which is a documentary about Chely Wright, the country singer who came out.  It's safe to say there's definitely a demographic in this theater.  There's only about 12 of us, but there's nary a penis to be found (at least a non-synthetic one) and I honestly have the longest hair in the theater and I just got a foot of hair cut off three weeks ago so make it barely shoulder length.  I think they're all tremendous.

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